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My auntie went blind when she was 17 and now has schizophrenia. I'm starting to worry that i may be headed down the same track because i talk to myself in my head so often that i usually can't sleep. I make up scary scenarios in my head that make me stay awake for hours. I had to stay at a friend's the other night just to feel safe from myself.
I also always feel as though i'm being watched my people as though i'm being filmed, like The Truman Show (movie). I've been overly anxious in everything i do and get so overwhelmed by the littlest jobs i have to do.
On the outside i am just a happy tripper to my friends and generally just make everyone laugh, but i'm starting to feel like even with all of my close friends i have no one to talk to this about because their minds seem to naive to the issue i'm battling with myself. I have a doctor that i've known my whole life but i know if i talk to her she'll just put it down to the drugs that i'm taking, which i haven't yet talked about.
I smoke weed every two days or so but only a tiny amount and have been doing so since i was 15 but not as regularly as now. I also take ecstasy about twice a month but my tolerance has risen i admit. But i honestly don't think that it is the drugs doing this to me. I think in such an unusual way that i feel there must be something really wrong with my mind. I just want to know what signs i should look out for in case i am becoming schizophrenic and whether doctors will even bother to treat me if i refuse to stop taking drugs.
I know it sounds stupid but they make me happy and i have myself under so much more control than the people around me who can get up to six to seven ecstasy tabs in a night for no particular reason, or smoke an entire bag of weed in a sitting. I feel i don't use enough for it to be doing this to me in other words.
Weed is a pretty innocuous drug for most people; small amounts from time to time don't usually lead to major problems. However, that is not true for people who carry the gene for schizophrenia. If you have inherrited the gene from your aunt, marijuana can trigger schizophrenia. It is called "expressing the gene".
People who carry genes for different disorders don't always get the illness; have you heard of "carriers", that don't get sick, but they can pass the sickness on? Well, carriers can get sick, too if they are exposed to the right trigger for their gene to become active. At least one of the chemicals in marijuana is a trigger for schizophrenia. THC activates the gene for schizophrenia if it is present, which in your case, it probably is.
Ecstasy is a different issue: ecstasy delivers high levels of dopamine into the brain, and dopamine is the chemical which causes most of the symptoms of schizophrenia, like the voices and the mood swings and the difficulty in thinking without going off on all those side tracks all the time. That happens to anyone who gets enough amphetamine type drugs into their systems (ecstasy, speed, ice are all amphetamines). They don't cause schizophrenia; the effects wear off once the drugs are out of your system. But they do exagerate the symptoms. The amount you need for those things to happen depends on your individual make-up. It sounds like you are really sensitive to them, which is a pretty strong warning sign, because if they trigger a full-blown episode of schizophrenia, recovery could take years on heavy psych medications.
I sympathise with you: your drugs are helping you feel "normal" and in control. But despite this, 3 years of using is probably the cause of most of your current bizaar thoughts and mood swings; just the fact that you need so very little to affect you is a warning sign. Anxiety, odd thoughts and mood swings are pointers to the possibility that you are vulnerable to a schizophrenic break that would not have happened if you never used!
The good news is that people who have this kind of vulnerability recover and go symptom-free if they act early enough: if a visit to a psych is too much, you might find that just 3 months drug-free is all you need to recover completely. (Sorry, it does sound like a big ask but you have seen the alternative; ask your aunty what her life is like.)
My auntie went blind when she was 17 and now has schizophrenia. I'm starting to worry that i may be headed down the same track.
Q.
Lately i've been noticing changes with myself mentally. I have been having rather often mood swings where i will be so depressed that i just cry for no reason sometimes but the littlest things will set me off. But then the next day i'm so happy with how my life is going that i can't think of what would get me so upset.My auntie went blind when she was 17 and now has schizophrenia. I'm starting to worry that i may be headed down the same track because i talk to myself in my head so often that i usually can't sleep. I make up scary scenarios in my head that make me stay awake for hours. I had to stay at a friend's the other night just to feel safe from myself.
I also always feel as though i'm being watched my people as though i'm being filmed, like The Truman Show (movie). I've been overly anxious in everything i do and get so overwhelmed by the littlest jobs i have to do.
On the outside i am just a happy tripper to my friends and generally just make everyone laugh, but i'm starting to feel like even with all of my close friends i have no one to talk to this about because their minds seem to naive to the issue i'm battling with myself. I have a doctor that i've known my whole life but i know if i talk to her she'll just put it down to the drugs that i'm taking, which i haven't yet talked about.
I smoke weed every two days or so but only a tiny amount and have been doing so since i was 15 but not as regularly as now. I also take ecstasy about twice a month but my tolerance has risen i admit. But i honestly don't think that it is the drugs doing this to me. I think in such an unusual way that i feel there must be something really wrong with my mind. I just want to know what signs i should look out for in case i am becoming schizophrenic and whether doctors will even bother to treat me if i refuse to stop taking drugs.
I know it sounds stupid but they make me happy and i have myself under so much more control than the people around me who can get up to six to seven ecstasy tabs in a night for no particular reason, or smoke an entire bag of weed in a sitting. I feel i don't use enough for it to be doing this to me in other words.
A.
Well, first off, schizophrenia is partly genetic and it usually starts off in the late teens, so your worries are sensible, but not enough to justify real panic. There are other more likely reasons for the things you are going through, starting with anxiety about your aunt's illness being multiplied by the particular kinds of drugs you are using.Weed is a pretty innocuous drug for most people; small amounts from time to time don't usually lead to major problems. However, that is not true for people who carry the gene for schizophrenia. If you have inherrited the gene from your aunt, marijuana can trigger schizophrenia. It is called "expressing the gene".
People who carry genes for different disorders don't always get the illness; have you heard of "carriers", that don't get sick, but they can pass the sickness on? Well, carriers can get sick, too if they are exposed to the right trigger for their gene to become active. At least one of the chemicals in marijuana is a trigger for schizophrenia. THC activates the gene for schizophrenia if it is present, which in your case, it probably is.
Ecstasy is a different issue: ecstasy delivers high levels of dopamine into the brain, and dopamine is the chemical which causes most of the symptoms of schizophrenia, like the voices and the mood swings and the difficulty in thinking without going off on all those side tracks all the time. That happens to anyone who gets enough amphetamine type drugs into their systems (ecstasy, speed, ice are all amphetamines). They don't cause schizophrenia; the effects wear off once the drugs are out of your system. But they do exagerate the symptoms. The amount you need for those things to happen depends on your individual make-up. It sounds like you are really sensitive to them, which is a pretty strong warning sign, because if they trigger a full-blown episode of schizophrenia, recovery could take years on heavy psych medications.
I sympathise with you: your drugs are helping you feel "normal" and in control. But despite this, 3 years of using is probably the cause of most of your current bizaar thoughts and mood swings; just the fact that you need so very little to affect you is a warning sign. Anxiety, odd thoughts and mood swings are pointers to the possibility that you are vulnerable to a schizophrenic break that would not have happened if you never used!
The good news is that people who have this kind of vulnerability recover and go symptom-free if they act early enough: if a visit to a psych is too much, you might find that just 3 months drug-free is all you need to recover completely. (Sorry, it does sound like a big ask but you have seen the alternative; ask your aunty what her life is like.)
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Last modified: 20th December 2007