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He smokes weed every opportunity he gets and it gets me so cut because he relies on it so much.
Q.
Okay, well here I go. My boyfriend and I have been going out for a little bit over 2 months now and I find myself getting so worried about him. He smokes weed every opportunity he gets and it gets me so cut because he relies on it so much. He is trying to quit but I know that won't work. Every time we have sex, he is stoned, which makes me feel like he only wants to do it with me when he is like that. How can I get him to stop completely and become more involved in our relationship?
A.
It sounds like you've already come up against difficulty in trying to get your boyfriend to stop smoking weed. The problem is that there is no way for you to get him to quit if he doesn't want to quit. You cannot change or control his choice to smoke, only he can change his behaviour. This can be a hard fact to accept, especially if you really like him, and especially if it is affecting your relationship.
What you can think about doing is talking to your boyfriend about how you feel. This won't necessarily bring about any change in him, but it is important that he knows how his choices may be affecting you and your relationship.
Some tips for you:
- Talk about how YOU feel and how his smoking affects YOU. You may want to give specific examples of how you feel about his behaviour, such as when you have sex and he is stoned.
- Stick to the point when talking about the issue. Don't get drawn into an argument.
It might seem really hard to talk about these kinds of things but it is important that your boyfriend knows how you feel. At the same time, it is important that you know that smoking weed is a choice that he is making and that at some stage you might have to make a decision as to what behaviours you are willing to put up with.
Good luck!
Last modified: 20th December 2007