Highs 'n Lows > Share Your Stories > Cannabis & Mind Health

What to do with my life

I'm 17 and I have been smoking pot for two years pretty heavily. I started because I was depressed at school and TAFE, but then I left and found myself still sitting at home everyday smoking till I feel sick then sleeping it off.

Since I started I have gained 40kg. When I started I was cutting myself almost every day cause I just hated myself. I have stopped that now but the scars will never disappear. It is so hard to go to job interviews, meet family etc. cause my arms are so chopped up.

I moved out of home at 15 and have been living with my wonderful fiancee, but I'm worried that he is going to leave me because he can't handle me when I smoke. I want to give up but it just makes me feel happy and it passes the time. Every week I think OK this week I'm going to go out and get a job or something, but every morning when I wake up I can't be bothered because I feel so sick from smoking too much the day before.

I want to do something with my life but I just can't seem to find the motivation to do so. Every morning when I do eventually get up I go straight to the TV and have a brekky bong. I even woke up my friend at 3 am who was staying over to just have a cone cause I couldn't sleep. My mum knows I smoke and neither my fiancee nor my mum want to do anything to help me get through it. All they are interested in is making me feel bad about myself.

The other day I finally decided to do something so I have a part-time job and am doing a TAFE course in July. I am still sitting at home most of the time bored as all hell. A week ago I got so bad because I hadn't had any for one day that I found myself scraping down the sides of my chopper, just to get half a cone. I have been to a counsellor for four years about my depression and have been diagnosed with bipolar, but it never really did any good. All I want is for my family to help me through it cause I know I'm not strong enough to do it myself.

Comments / Feedback

u really need to talk to ur family and explain how u feel to them...u have to tell them that what their doing isn't solving ur problems but in a sense increasing them...u need to have a look at urself and how things r going and pull the strength to tell ur family and fiancee how u feel and what ur need r from them, support and encouragement not disapproval..is their disapproval gonna get u a job and life??? no! Go girl and show them!!!
you go girl!
GET HELP IN REHAB
i've been living around dope smoker since for ever. i know what it's like you should quit while you can!!
hey i kno how its like im the same way

LISTEN UP - for the sake of your self and your relationship with your fiancee GET OFF THE SHIT!!!!

I have been with my partner, a heavy pot smoker, for the past 7 years and have lived with him for the past 3 1/2 years. He smokes every day and it has gotten to breaking point between us that he has a ultimatum to give up the dope or lose me for good. I am not going to see my life ruined or sucked away financially due to something that could be changed.... If a doctor told you that you had diabetes and that you had to give up sugar lollies, would you give them up to save your life.... well depression can kill too and pot does nothing but increase those feelings and emotions.....

What you are doing is not smoking yourself to 'death' from the plant cannabis....you are smoking yourself to death with carbon monoxide poisoning. The plant cannabis is non-toxic, but smoking is toxic and the more you smoke ANYTHING, the less oxygen your brain is getting, hence the fog and stoned effect. It's a fact that carbon monoxide kills....you get carbon monoxide also from car exhausts, factory chimneys, open fires, and of course smoking cigarettes. If you're going to continue smoking cannabis...do it in moderation and make sure that you are eating well (not junk food) and getting enough exercise and fresh air to put back the oxygen into your body. Also, what you are addicted to is the bong and the carbon monoxide. People who vapourise or eat cannabis in salads or cookies don't have that problem because there is no carbon monoxide from them. Plus, if you are like most people you are having a little bit of cannabis with your cigarette tobacco in the bong and we all know how toxic and dangerous cigarettes are.
u really need help!! majorlly! SEEK HELP PLEASE!
get help go to a rehab centre...I no it will be hard to get off the stuff but u gotta do it for ur life sake. Its good your getting your life on track but quitting would make it easier to get a job without wanting to get a fix.
plz listen up. i feel sorry for you coz rite now you prob feel like there is no one to talk to. plz talk to a trusted adult or friend or even ring a drug counsellin service u can quit u have taken the first step in acknowledgin that u have a prob and now u just need to get help. good on you for wantin to do something with ur life and wantin to quit it will be hard but u can make it.
get off da pot ya stoner.
in a way it sounds like u want there attention from them, and they dont have to giv up their time to make your ass happi... u need to make the change by urself if u reali want somethign good to happen
u need help
don't be a fuckwit. Give it up.
I can help u !!!!!! alot of people in my area smoke pot and they do it everyday and for years! people look at them as the inferior to society dont be like that think higher on above grounds. But i guess when youve start weed its hard to go back sometimes, its all in the mind, go to the gym, go on a holiday get the hell away from your current environment make a change dude!!! peace and good luck theres many like you already in this world thats why u may feel neglected, however its just another story. Depression is all in the mind, once you hit rock bottom theres no way of getting up its all about how you deal with it!!!
I didn't like the swearing it's bad, but i think you need serious help. I think you are strong enough to quit, good luck.
Your fiance and mother aren't interested in telling you to stop smoking because you've told them that it makes you happy - and that's what they want you to be. But obviously you're not happy anyway. Pot is no substitute for real life. Don't listen to people who tell you it's too hard to give it up and believe in yourself and that you're worth so much more.

It's not as hard as you think to give up the pot, it's much harder to give up the lifestyle that goes along with it, the mental habits... I used to live the illusion that pot is a harmless drug, it took years after i have given it up to realise that its not in fact harmless.

Nobody can help you get off the pot, you can't expect help, it's a simple matter of wanting to stop smoking. If u dont want to stop then you're just fooling yourself...

if you want to quit i suggest stop hanging around the people in your life that smoke. it's the only way to stop. i had the same problem, well not the cutting part, but did smoke everyday for 2 years and my life is screwed. but quiting helps. my short term memory isn't as bad anymore and i can speak better to people. oh and one thing: don't smoke bongs, they screw your lungs
Your motivation is trashed by the dope, your weight gain is from eating munchies and not having motivation to exercise or change. Pot is a mentally destructive drug - it destroys your motivation to take charge of your life. You need detox and rehab - the workers are really cool.
don't feel bad, most people still love you.

It's scary how little is known out there about cannabis. Cannabis IS toxic, and very toxic. Don't be fooled by the notion that anything that grows in the garden is natural and that anything natural is good for you. You're probably sick of advice, so I won't bore you with more of it, but I promise you that me, and many other people, have been EXACTLY where you are now and have managed to turn their lives around.

My heart goes out to you I promise, but detox cetres can be a really excellent starting point. None of us are perfect, so remember... EASY DOES IT... BUT MAKE SURE YOU DO IT. Sometimes, unfortunately we just need to wait until we actually hit rock-bottom before we realise that we REALLY need help. I fell right down, all the way. Sometimes you just have to fall, sometimes not. It sounds like you know that there is a real problem here, which means, believe it or not, you're on your way to a better life!!!

i'm 18 and i've been smokin pot 7 years now. i used to smoke it 24/7 and i was really bad but somebody gave me a piece of advice: don't smoke during the day. get urself up in the morning and try to find loads of activities to get ur head off and get urself naturally ``stoned´´, that means tired. And if u get home at night when the sun goes down and still want one, have one and go to bed. that's what i always do. if u only smoke one a day ur stash will last longer and u don't have to ruin urself buyng 10 bags everyday. get well xxx
i knew that families don't help as much as they say they would. thanx for making it clear 4 me buddy.
It is all about self control. Stop blaming a plant for all your problems...I think they run far deeper.
stop ya fukin smokin it can help
i know....... i was like you
you should do something to make your family listen to you. even yelling at them just to say you need the f**ing help!! xXx

pretend to your self that you have quit for 2 weeks and that the next bong you have will ruin all that hard work- also smoking may make you feel better about your shit life but but it's the smoking that is making your life shit.

whether you think you can, or think you can't - your right

I'm really sorry your family aren't giving you the support you need, maybe you should make it clearer to them that you want to make changes and you need their help! Make them feel wanted and they might help.

You said you are bored! There are plenty of things to do: do some volunteer work somewhere. Animal shelters, op shops can always do with volunteers! Most importantly, believe in yourself. YOU CAN DO IT! You need to believe and have faith! Good luck and best wishes!

im 16 and been smoking for three years ... you need to balance how much you smoke and be grateful for the amount you're given. you can do it. take care xx
try give up in moderation, it worked for me. good luck xx
get help please! i read this story and it is really sad and im sorry your parents havnt been there for you! but just try to keep talking to them!! NEVER GIVE UP.
ur story is the same as mine. iv been smoken since i was 14 now im 20. i know how hard it is stop and to get up and look 4 a job when ya blows looken right at ya. u sound like there's just no1 there 4 u but just be strong 4 urself. fuck all them who make ya feel bad. i really hope ya get through it.
It's not the cannabis, it's your depression. You even said yourself that you started because you were depressed in school. Everyone lacks motivation, the hardest part is getting started. Once you force yourself to do things you'll be able to make that a new habit. Besides, it sounds like you have the most precious commodity of all: time; since, you say you're bored sitting around. And finally, I'm sorry your family isn't there to support you. In my opinion they should. But eventually you'll learn that you only have to rely on yourself. So just hang in there.
40 kg, thats about 90 pounds, have some respect for yourself and lose some weight.

Regardless of anyone in the world, what they say or what they do... YOU will never give up the drugs unless YOU want to. The people closest to you are not supporting you cause u haven't shown them in any way that you are stopping right here right now.. they will continue to put u down hoping that 1 day u might get the message and stop.. once u start making a change for the better the support will come but you cant blame your mum or partner for you still smoking...

You said you wanted to get ur life together... go see someone (there are plenty or services out there) without telling anyone... the service will support you... start making the change... get up walk away and respect yourself, the people around you and your life.. everyone does crap but at the end of the day the world still spins and the sun rises... whatever u feel smoking pot wont make it better it makes it worse.... unfortunately it doesn't only make it worse 4 u it makes it worse for everyone around u...

so figure this; u haven given ur mum crap for as long as u have smoked but u expect her to jump by ur side as soon as u say i want to stop... u know what i'm sure she's heard it before.... don't ever think u can stop for something or someone.. U can only stop for yourself... once u learn that ur life is worth more.. that u are worth it.. that u deserve the best and that u are a person poeple should be proud of... so stop putting it off.. respect yourself.. value ur life... show love to be shown love but choose to show love to the right people not to a bong.... at the end of the day it's ur choice...

Bill Hicks said it best... "They tell you pot smoking makes you lazy, unmotivated.... LIE! You can do everything you normally can when you're stoned, you just realize it's not worth the fucking effort. There is a difference."

You really need to soul search and ask yourself why you feel this way now; you feel you're smoking too much and are blaming the drug itself rather than your own, possibly subconscious, motivations to overindulge.

Examine your social circle. What do you really have in common with your friends? Do you only bond over the weed, did you meet them "through" weed connections, or are there REALLY deeper connections that bind you together as friends? I realised I had a few "weed-friends" shall we say, and we would stoke each others habits.

I made the decision to see less of certain people and moderate my habit... taking breaks is in itself a reward. Try stopping for 2 weeks, even longer, in fact the longer the better. That next (just like your first!) joint will just remind you as to why you fell in love with the green to begin with!

i smoked for well over 20 years. Somehow it has been easy to stop now that I have chronic emphysemea and cough up black shit day and night. I can hardly get up stairs and get worn out to the max just walking. There is no cure yet for my condition and it really stuffs your life up.
go and see a drug and alcohol counsellor and maybe try narcotics annonymous.
YOU need to do something about it, no one else can help you - you are an addict. You have zero motivation because pot = no motivation. If you smoke pot, the first thing to go is motivation, along with life long goals and family and friends. Until you can find the strength inside you to stand up and get well, nothing your fiancee or mother does will ever give you enough strength to get through your addiction. All the feelings and emotions you feel are directly linked to smoking up, and without that pot, you would probably really enjoy life and not need others to pick you up when you're down.
You need medical treatment for your bipolar disorder, so go to a doctor for that. Also if you want to quit weed get yourself to a marijuana anonymous meeting, sit down and listen. It will help if you stick with it i promise.
give up that shit
I hate this delusion that POT is the reason for your hardship. Laziness is itself is the reason, I hate the blame. Smoking pot every day is moronic. Same with drinking every day. Every pot smoker I know is productive to society and does it in moderation. Same logic everyone should take with tobacco & alcohol. Pot is great social drug, keep it social. Want to know everything about pot? Get a documentary called: "The Union". It will open your eyes.
Good luck and find some professional help. You need more than just your family's support and your own will to make some changes, you need a counsellor to help you deal with your depression and work through the emotions you are escaping from by smoking weed. Medication for your bi-polar will also help. Stay strong and take it one day at a time.
challenge yourself
Go to rehab? That's an option. Maybe, flush your stash, and I know this sounds silly, but maybe ask your fiance to help you with your money, like ask him/her to oversee how much you spend so you don't spend it on marijuana? There are free detox places where you can check yourself into. Don't think about it, just go. Good luck x
Hey I'm know dis is prob very old but I have to say babe my heart goes out to u. I'm from syd and all there is here is well nothing. look i don't think its fair that no one from ur family wanna help u. dat breaks my heart man. find one of the detox clinics. u no wat I did, I called up a hospital and told them WTF can I do cause I don't have money for those other places. they told me they keep me for a week, but sone other chick said smoke once a day yes. step one cut down. step two every time u have a cone say out loud yuk this is disgusting. step three call around. I wish I could speak to u. I wish u so much luck. good luck baby gal and ftw ur a beautiful person and ur fukin worth eveything.
i have never smoked pot because it is a disgusting habit!!

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