It all began at 15 finding a bag of leaves, a few tips. I felt sick before i was stoned but when i was stoned i escaped---i enjoyed and i went back for more the next day.

I'm a very open individual but after 2 years with "it" in my life i noticed changes mentally so i stopped---rehab for 5 mths, the works. While in rehab i was prescribed diazepam (valium) and temazepam. Couple that with an antidepressant and i had my own daily webster pack. The thing is, and i'm not proud of it, is i never really needed the pills so most of the time i'd pocket them for later sale outside the rehab of course as that's just evil (selling drugs inside).

Since smoking i have become someone that struggles with eye contact, is socially awkward and has bouts of depression. I'm fine when i'm busy and i've never been without work, full time as a qualified and awarded chef. I smoke pretty much every night for 3 months a year. I'll smoke pot, 1-2 cones per evening, so to get a fix then i'll put it away til the same time the next day home for work, into the shower then into the cupboard. Then i'll stop for a few months, go travelling, work and generally pass time.

But here's the thing: I despise living a life of routine, like an ant! Up in the morning, off to work, half hour for lunch, an hour if yr lucky, commute home, an hour of sun then watch the news and hit the bed, make love once a fortnight, have 8 days a year off sick and 4 weeks a year to try and salvage some sort of a life. I hate that our days off consist of 2 days off a week... That means by default 5 days on---and that's crap SO...as of January 1st in my new year's resolution i'm going to live life. I'm going to embrace it head on---cultures, language, travel, food AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, BALANCE. I think i'm going to go to Nepal and volunteer with children, then work for a couple months then go to Ecuador to work on community development. I don't need marijuana, i am me. I DON'T NEED POT ANYMORE.